I Really Missed You
by Colin Fisher
INT. PHIL’S APARTMENT
PHIL is trying to read, but he’s clearly waiting for something to happen and can’t concentrate. He looks at his watch a few times. Finally SUSAN comes in with a suitcase. Phil jumps up immediately.
PHIL
Hey baby! I’m so glad you’re home!
He rushes over and hugs & kisses her.
SUSAN
Hey! Me too! I missed you so much. Really.
PHIL
Aw. I can’t wait to hear more about England. But go ahead and get settled first, I’m sure you’re tired.
SUSAN
It’s OK. I actually wanted to talk to you about something first.
PHIL
Oh. OK.
They sit on the couch.
SUSAN
I love you. And I really missed you.
PHIL
I love you too. And I missed you.
SUSAN
But I have to tell you the truth. I messed around with someone while I was over there.
PHIL
Oh. Wow.
SUSAN
I feel awful about it, and I want you to know it was truly just because I missed you.
PHIL
OK. I mean, if that’s the case I think it would have been better to just call me or something.
SUSAN
The rates are just so high right now.
PHIL
Right. Maybe an email then?
SUSAN
They’re too impersonal. And I wasn’t really near a computer.
PHIL
OK. OK. Well I guess I’m glad you told me.
SUSAN
Good. Me too.
PHIL
I mean, it was just a one-time thing.
SUSAN
Of course.
PHIL
It’ll take me a little time to get over the fact that you...uh...
SUSAN
I went down on him.
PHIL
Hurgh!
SUSAN
Because I missed you.
PHIL
Again, phone call.
SUSAN
It was late at night.
PHIL
But I think it’s something we can work through.
SUSAN
That’s great! I’m so glad to hear you say that.
PHIL
Of course.
SUSAN
That’s why I brought him here with me. Nigel?
PHIL
You did the who?
NIGEL walks in, casual and comfortable in his own skin. He judges the whole apartment with a glance. He’s unimpressed.
NIGEL
Oi.
SUSAN
I thought the best way to work through it would be for you to confront both of us together. Have a seat, Nigel.
He plops down in a chair.
PHIL
I, uh, we could’ve Skyped or something.
SUSAN
I think things like this are better in person. Tell Nigel how you feel.
PHIL
I’d really like for you and me to figure out some things first.
SUSAN
We’ll get to that next. Go ahead, tell him.
Nigel is thumbing through a magazine.
PHIL
Hi, Nigel. I’m Phil.
NIGEL
Pleasure Phil. Heard a lot about you.
PHIL
Great! Well, I only heard the one thing about you. So. Uh, I...wish my girlfriend hadn’t...?
SUSAN
I went down on him.
PHIL
Yeah I got that.
NIGEL
‘salright. Forgiven.
PHIL
I don’t--I didn’t do anything to forgive.
NIGEL
It’s cool mate, I’m turning the other cheek.
PHIL
But, I didn’t hit your first cheek.
SUSAN
This is great. Express yourself.
PHIL
There is a lot happening right now. Who paid for his ticket?
SUSAN
I did. Consider it an early birthday present.
PHIL
For him?
SUSAN
Most guys would never get this opportunity.
PHIL
I hope they don’t take it for granted.
SUSAN
He’s here for a week and that’s it, so I suggest you make better use of the time.
PHIL
A week? A week with him, to work through something it took you five minutes to--
NIGEL
Forty five.
PHIL
What?! I thought you said you just--
SUSAN
I did. Just that.
PHIL
For 45 minutes?
NIGEL
I’m a tantrist.
PHIL
I have learned so much in the last five minutes that I never wanted to know.
SUSAN
Phil, can you be mature about this?
PHIL
I am doing my best.
SUSAN
Good. Do you think we can all fit in the bed tonight, or do you want to grab the couch?
Nigel looks up from his magazine.
NIGEL
You got any biscuits?
Phil bangs his head on the coffee table.
END
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