Meeting Agents
by Colin Fisher
INT. OFFICE
AGENT 1 sits behind a desk. KEITH sits opposite. He’s bright, fresh out of college, and shiny. The agent looks at Keith’s headshot/resume.
AGENT 1
That was a great monologue, Keith.
KEITH
Oh, thank you, sir.
Oh, thank you, sir.
AGENT 1
Tell me a little about yourself.
KEITH
Well, I’m originally from Illinois. I’ve been in New York almost a year. I’ve taken some solid classes, worked on some short films and webseries.
AGENT 1
Great, great. I think you might fit in nicely at Abrams. Are you ready to take it to the next level?
KEITH
Oh absolutely sir!
AGENT 1
Good to hear. We’ll be in touch.
INT. KEITH’S APARTMENT
Keith sits trying to read Backstage. He keeps looking at his phone.
INT. ANOTHER OFFICE
Different office, same scenario. AGENT 2 behind the desk this time.
AGENT 2
I really liked that monologue.
KEITH
Thanks.
AGENT 2
Tell me about yourself.
KEITH
Well, I’m originally from Illinois. I’ve been in the city for two years now. I’ve built up quite a list of credits, I guess you can see that there. Managed to get into the union.
AGENT 2
Great, great. I think you’d fit in nicely at Paradigm. Are you ready to make that tier jump?
KEITH
Oh, you bet.
INT. KEITH’S APARTMENT
This is a new apartment, smaller, shabbier. Keith is reading a play. Keeps glancing at his phone.
INT. OFFICE
You get the idea. AGENT 3 this time. Keith has lost his shine. His clothes are wrinkled.
AGENT 3
Keith Gorton. Great monologue, you really know your craft.
KEITH
Yes I do.
AGENT 3
So tell me about yourself.
KEITH
I’m from Illinois. I’ve been in the city for seven years.
AGENT 3
Fantastic. I think you’d fit in great at Avalon. Are you ready to make the jump?
KEITH
You know, I don’t have any idea what that means.
AGENT 3
Well, it means you’re ready to start focusing on more competitive roles--
KEITH
I know what you think it means, Mr. Agent. To me, it’s just a made-up concept. An agent’s concept, so guys like you can wear a nice suit and tie, and have a job, and pass judgement. What do you really want to know? Am I going to book?
AGENT 3
Well, are you?
KEITH
Not a day goes by that I don’t think about auditioning for network roles, going all the way to the executives for pilot season. Not a day that I don’t think about college, and all the money I spent on my degree. I want to talk to my younger self, talk some sense into him. Tell him to get an engineering degree, go to med school, something tangible. Make money, buy a house, start a family. But I can’t. That kid’s long gone and this bitter actor is all that’s left. I’ve got to live with that. Next level? Tier jump? It’s bullshit. You’re not interested. So you go on and file my headshot, Mr. Agent, and stop lying to me. Because to tell you the truth, I don’t give a shit.
The agent is speechless.
A newspaper spins into frame, with the headline “KEITH GORTON WINS ALL THE OSCARS.”
END
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