Monday, March 16, 2009

We say Sci-Fi, they say SyFy. But they're stupid.

In an attempt to broaden their audience, the Sci Fi Channel will be changing its name to SyFy on July 7. According to Tim Brooks, who helped launch the channel, "The name Sci Fi has been associated with geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that, as opposed to the general public and the female audience in particular." I'm sure the current core audience really appreciates that. That's like Lifetime saying they're changing their name because they're sick of being associated with histrionic menstrual 30-somethings with no boyfriends. Great job!

Not to mention that antisocial boys in their basements are the only people willing to watch such innovative programming as Vipers, the Sci Fi original movie featuring Tara Reid and Corbin Bernsen fighting...wait for it...snakes!

To still further distance themselves from antisocial basement-dwellers, they're working on a secretive game with Trion Worldwide, which will apparently MMORPG? For the uninitiated, think World of Warcraft. Which is not geeky. No. No it is not.

Underlying all this is the decision of the new name itself. SyFy. Looks like Eastender slang for syphylis. Sound it out with me. IT'S THE SAME NAME. In related news, Spike will be changing its network name to Spic.

The new name will coincide with the launch of SyFy's first original show, "Warehouse 13." The title refers to a secret government installation in South Dakota which houses mysterious, sometimes supernatural artifacts. “It is a dramedy and it is set in the here and now. It’s a kind of an Indiana Jones meets ‘Moonlighting’ meets ‘The X-Files,’” Mr. Howe said. “This is a very accessible, relatable, fun show.”

So remember, when you're watching SyFy's new show "Warehouse 13," or an original movie featuring Dean Cain fighting off a prehistoric bus-sized gecko, the channel's not just for geeks any more.

No. No it is not.

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