Because it's just too hard to tell them apart on television any more.
Because this is literally the only media outlet Ryan Seacrest hasn't made money from.
Because 12-year old girls will sell themselves into white slavery for a new image of David Archuleta.
Set for release April 21 (note to readers: close to my birthday! so don't get me these), the 138-card series will feature past and present contestants, judges, and the omnipresent Seacrest himself.
True to the show's form, the print on Randy's card will be impossible to read, Paula's will inexplicably be a copy of a Chinese menu, and Simon's card will be just a bit bigger than the others.
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