Friday, December 11, 2009

Tis the Season...

...for obligatory "Best Of" lists. Were I a more ambitious, skilled writer, I'd try to cover the whole decade. Or this year. Or this week. But I'm not. So just let me muse a while.

I didn't even realize it was the end of a decade til a week or so ago. It's amazing to think of the amount of pop culture trends the Oughts have encompassed. The Boy Band Craze was still in full effect at the turn of the decade/millennium. God, that gives N Sync a bit more credibility, right? "Which band was #1 at the beginning of the Third Millennium of the Common Era?" And at the end of the decade, "No Strings" is still the best-selling album. Because everyone stopped paying for music somewhere around 2003.

It was quite a decade for me personally. I became a man in the truest sense of the word, which for my people means drinking the blood of your enemy. I should mention my people live in Bartertown and compete regularly in the Thunderdome. I started the decade a man-child, and finished it a married man-child.

This was the decade of Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, and that adorable Anakin Skywalker with his bestest buddy sidekick, Uncle Jar Jar Tom. Comic book movies, Xbox, and Halo. At the end of the decade that truly solidified my tastes as 100% Geek, it's hard to imagine a better collection of movies and cultural phenomena in the future. Fortunately that future ends abruptly in two years.

This was also the decade of Reality. Which is unfortunate, considering that the reality of the decade was so depressing. Television ceased providing the escape that it has provided for us for over 50 years, and instead served as a crushing reminder of what man becomes when he has everything he wants. He becomes Bret Michaels. He becomes Flava Flav. Speidi. Omarosa. The naked guy from Survivor. What has this trend taught me? Within our heart of hearts resides a power-hungry stripper who loves money and doesn't understand that character is a finite resource, nor that fame is a shimmering, translucent, double-edged sword.

We've been so knee-deep in batshit crazy these last couple months, it's hard to get perspective over that molehill to see the decade behind us. We finally turned the corner away from the Heenes only to be met with the professional do-nothing Salahis asking us to take a picture of them with the Pope and Elizabeth II. We ducked into the nearest doorway and there was Tiger Woods, busy becoming the Wilt Chamberlain of golf (or if the body count keeps rising, the Wilt Chamberlain of Wilt Chamberlains).

What a strange and wonderful journey it's been. Have a great summer and keep in touch*!

*we won't keep in touch


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