Monday, July 30, 2012

Stray Thoughts after a Weekend of Olympics

-I know NBC is probably charging a ton for advertising, but could only five companies afford it? How many times do I have to watch those guys drive that car through Patagonia over the next 12 days? How many different athletes are going to deposit a check with their iPhone?

-I may have found something that makes me more uncomfortable than red carpet interviews: post-competition, you-just-lost-gold-by-imperceptible-fractions, how-does-it-feel interviews. I guess it's in some contract somewhere that Michael Phelps has to stand in front of a camera directly after swimming faster than any human has ever swum before. Let me go ahead and respond to this interview for every athlete for the rest of the Olympics: "We came up with a plan to win, and I came out and executed that plan. *deep breaths* No, I cannot convey the entirety of my emotions in a two-second sound bite right now. *deep breaths* I'm going to go over here and eat a steak."

Nope, red carpet's still worse.

-We all agree that opening was a total mess, right? I love me some Danny Boyle. I love me some ancient Anglo-Saxon history. I love me some movies and digital technology. I do not love me all these things jammed together in a multi-billion dollar multimedia extravaganza. If it weren't for NBC's vapid commentary, there is no way my brain could have constructed a story out of that series of images. I wonder what the live audience made of it? Wait, they were probably too busy taking pictures of themselves and tweeting them with revolutionary digital technology.

-Speaking of that vapid commentary, why is Bob Costas so angry? "Most countries won't be winning medals here. This walk will be the high point for them." "Here are three overjoyed athletes representing the highest hopes of their small country. Let me tell you a depressing fact about that country's current regime." "Hey, look, Latvia. Buncha dickheads."

-I am so thankful NYC lost that bid.

Colin Fisher is many things to many people, but mostly he's an actor and writer.

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